Growing up in Kansas, my experience with scarfs was limited to the woolen type you wear in the snow. I have vague childhood recollections of my grandmother and other little old lady types wearing a scarf over their hair occasionally for reasons that had some inexplicable tie to their hairdressers. Even living in Los Angeles, and attending school there, I've never encountered anyone who made the decision to wear a hijab on a regular basis.
During our month in Dubai, I think I was suffering from too much culture shock to register anything more than the fact that many women wear a hijab in this region. I remember envying the women wearing a traditional national costume for their ability to disappear into the crowd while simultaneously wondering how they did not wilt in the heat. In my research before this trip, I learned that there was no reason that I should not adopt any style of dress that I was comfortable with. That led to my purchase of an abaya and headscarf, which I wore to the Grand Mosque.
I had a great deal of anxiety on that first trip. I put my hair up and pinned on the hijab in the car, with little more than a YouTube video for guidance. I felt like I was fussing with it the entire visit, as the wind caught it or my hair shifted and I worried that I would be exposed. I can only liken it to wearing a wrap skirt without a proper fastener.
I did some more research and learned that a partial solution was to be found in wearing an under-scarf. There are several types. I read about them all and headed to the mall, to a small kiosk there that sells only scarves and accessories.
Of course, being my socially awkward self, all my careful research fled the moment the salesgirl asked what I was looking for. I stammered to explain that I needed something to wear under a scarf. The girl smiled and said, "is it your first time to cover, ma'am?" I nodded and she assured me that it gets easier.
She showed me several different styles of under-scarves. Then, with a paper hat over my hair (think of those nylon "socks" you get when trying on shoes, except for your hair, if you can imagine, for hygiene), she even arranged some different scarves on my head. She made it look very simple, which I suppose makes sense given her job. I got two different options to try and some scarf pins - straight pins, which was not what I expected but they do seem to work.
I've done some practice at home, but I've not gone out in public since making my purchases. I think I will buy a plain knit scarf, especially if we go somewhere that I need to cover. She sold me on how much easier those were to keep in place, even if I didn't pick one out that day.
But I have found myself fascinated by hijabs on this trip. I've read for hours about the topic online. I know that it is a deeply personal decision to cover or not. I hope that my fascination does not come across as judgement, because it is not meant to be. I am fascinated by the styles and decisions that women make with their scarves. Watching women has become something of a hobby for me, like peeking into a secret society governed by rules which I do not understand.
I've looked at plenty of guides for the different styles. I know that different colors, patterns, and fabrics are favored by different groups and different regions. Scarves can be arranged in a variety of ways, to cover anything from just your hair to your entire face. I know that there are differences in style between the trending methods of securing your scarf and others that are very much "last season". There are generational differences as well, between the young and the mature. I do not pretend to understand the nuances of all of that.
But there are things that I have noticed.
Every public women's restroom that I have entered here includes an area, separate from the sinks and mirrors, with a counter, mirrors, and occasionally stools. Without fail, women wearing a headscarf of any variety will stop in this area after washing their hands and make some adjustment. Some will unwrap the entire thing and repin it. Others will make a few tucks, more like a check and fidget than anything else. It may get easier, but it still takes diligence.
Last weekend, while I was visiting a lady's spa and getting a pedicure, I saw a woman come in with her daughter. Once fully inside the women's area, she removed the part of her scarf that covered her face. This made perfect sense to me, given my limited understanding. But then she removed the rest of her head coverings, untied her hair, and shook it out...and proceeded to get a manicure. Other ladies in this room, getting services ranging from pedicures to massages, maintained whatever level of cover they had entered with. I think some part of my confusion regarding the rules is that not everyone is following the same set.
Today, I walked to the mall and it was crazy windy outside. As I crossed the street, I saw a woman rewrap her headscarf once before giving up and tossing it around her shoulders, leaving only her under-scarf covering her head. (This is something I've never seen outside the aforementioned area in the women's restroom or the YouTube videos showing different methods of putting on a hijab.) I saw another woman give up on hers and leave it draped over her head, held tightly under her chin with one hand, but leaving the ends flying in the wind. I saw another rewrap hers as she crossed the street and proceed holding it in place with both hands. The only woman I saw without any apparent concern for hers was a more mature woman wearing a tightly wrapped knit scarf. But then she ran across the street against the light, so I'm not sure if she had a better scarf method or a general disregard for all the rules.
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