Conquering My Driving Fears, From the Wrong Side of the Road

[During our stop in Taunton, I took the opportunity to write about my reflections on driving in England.]

I’ve never considered myself a nervous driver, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve acquired a few driving fears.

I grew up driving various vehicles, not always with adjustable seats - giving me the feeling that I could drive anything, whether or not I could reach the pedals comfortably. But I settled into driving my little Mini, with the seat properly adjusted to my preference - a car I never shared, so things stayed the same. I’ve gotten less comfortable with new and different cars.

I remember learning to back around corners on gravel roads in Driver’s Ed. At the farm, I backed various vehicles around with ease, never giving it much thought. When I moved to LA, I found reversing in tight spots difficult. I realized that where I could “back up anything, anywhere,” my brother could reverse one semi-truck and trailer while my dad circled with another! Perhaps I wasn’t as skilled as I thought; I’d just always had plenty of space.

When I was fourteen, I drove through standing water and soaked my spark plugs. The car died, and died every time I touched the brakes for the rest of the drive home, in the dark, in the rain. This resulted in my first experience driving without power steering or anti-lock brakes - an experience that began at the top of a hill before an S-curve with my eleven year old brother screaming at me not to cry as that wouldn’t help anything. I haven’t voluntarily driven through water since.

When I was 18, I drove through a hail storm. With my car stopped on the side of the road and me curled into a ball in the driver’s seat with my jacket wrapped around my legs, the hail broke through my front and back windshields and dinged every panel on my car. Three balls of ice actually penetrated my front windshield and joined me in the car. I’ve experienced full-blown panic attacks while driving in heavy rain and hail ever since. This got slightly better when I drove with Court and the girls in Kansas last summer, but the fear remains.

When we started looking for a house in LA, I discovered that curving roads with one lane of traffic and parked cars absolutely terrified me. We crossed them off the list, because I was certain that buying a house in the hills would turn me into a hermit.

I’ve never been good with right and left, as I have a documented learning disability related to dyslexia. I expected to struggle with driving on the wrong side of the road in England. I did not expect to face and conquer every one of my driving fears in three days.

We rented a car in Salisbury. I drove on the wrong side of the road, with Ann trying to swap “right” for “left” even though she had the same disorder I have. Jerynn and I quickly settled into a “my way” and “your side” method with the occasional “follow the red car” or “where that silver car just went” for good measure. I navigated the unfamiliar vehicle to Sonehenge, parked there, got out of the parking lot, and navigated to Bath. We found our hotel and I made a five-point turn to fit the van into a parking spot. I would successfully back out of the tiny parking lot the following morning.

We left Bath the second day for Arlington Court. On the way, I drove through brief torrential rains. I drove on curving mountain roads that did not have a full two lanes. As I drove into Combe Martin, I navigated several two lane roads that had cars parked in one lane or the other. I made another five-point turn, this time to BACK INTO a parking spot off a one-lane, two-way road.

We left Combe Marin on one-lane, two-way streets with cars parked in the lane. I drove on roads that were “generally four meters wide,” with two-way traffic. I drove down one-lane, two-directional lanes with hedges and stone fences on either side. I drove through pouring rain. I drove up hills so steep that Jerynn offered to get out and run ahead to make sure the road continued…only to realize that the hedges and fences were so close that she couldn’t open her door to get out of the car. We met another car on one of these lanes and I had to back up, with things so tight that the collision warnings were beeping and flashing on all four corners of the vehicle. I drove through standing water on that narrow, single-lane track - not once, but twice where it completely covered the road. Dani offered to walk through the water to make sure it wasn’t too deep, but she encountered the same problem that stumped Jerynn earlier, and I talked myself into driving through.

Driving through Taunton, merely driving on the wrong side of the road - making easy lefts and challenging rights - even when the GPS was frequently wrong, was something of a relief.

But going forward, I know that things have changed. I may not be that fearless young driver with thirteen speeding tickets who thinks she can drive anything, anywhere. But I am a confident, experienced driver willing to take on the challenge.